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What Defines Your One and Only Life?

Something had changed between us. The sky of our relationship had been a perfect clear blue for months, but now, sitting in our local coffee shop, I could feel the clouds creeping in and smell the rain in the distance.

“I’ve always wanted to marry someone with an intact family,” she eventually said and picked at her cardboard cup holder. We both knew exactly what she was getting at. It seems somewhere along the way, she defined what a person’s family should look like and mine didn’t the mold, not even close.

This happens to all us, doesn’t it? Each and every day we’re  bombarded with people who try to tell us who we are based on their quick judgements of our lives and our past.

“Each and every day we’re  bombarded with people who try to tell us who we are based on their quick judgements of our lives and our past.”

“You look like you’re in high school,” is one I get on an almost daily basis. Then there are the comments on my hair, my shoes, my higher pitched voice. Not to mention the constant editorials on my choice to do a “woman’s job,” being single, or trying to live a healthy lifestyle.


photo credit: drubuntu via photopin cc

What I didn’t realize is just how much I let those comments define who I am. All of these judgements seem so quiet and harmless, but when recorded and played together they scream one glorious lie:

You’re not good enough and you never will be.

Ever feel that way? Why is it so easy for me to listen to these people and so hard to hear that still small voice telling me who I actually am. I am not the struggles of my childhood or my long battle with acne. I am not my possessions, my job or my student loans. I am not my mistakes or my heartbreak.

What identifies me isn’t found in any of those things, it is found in Jesus. It is found in a man who lived his life loving and serving other people. A guy who came to the world to remind us who we are and who we were created to be.

“What identifies me isn’t found in any of those things, it is found in Jesus.”

Jesus spent his entire life defending what he was about. Day after day everyone from random people on the street to the highest of religious leaders asked him question after question about what he stood for. Yet, he never hid, he never backed down and he never forgot exactly who he was – a beloved child of God. He stood up tall and told them what he was about: changing the world. Spoiler alert: they didn’t really like that.

So today I am just trying to be more like Him and less like the person everyone tells me I need to be. I am standing tall in who I am and letting the hurtful remarks fall off me like a warm summer rain. I am trying with all my might to keep my heart focused on changing the world and living more like my man Jesus.

As they say, it’s her loss. 🙂 The truth is I have an amazing body of people I call family. She’s right, they don’t fit the cookie cutter idea of how a life should look and actually, I hope my life never does. I guess this world just doesn’t understand different and that’s why it’s our job to show them who we actually are and the love that we stand for.


Found in my Music Playlist, “Coffee With My Savior”.

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